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Dating Violence
The best years of your life shouldn’t hurt.
Every person has the right to live in a peaceful environment free from abuse.
Dating Violence is:
A pattern of behavior used by an individual to maintain control over their dating partner.
• This control may take the form of physical, sexual, or verbal abuse.
• Dating violence is not about getting angry or having a disagreement – in an abusive dating relationship one partner is afraid of and intimidated by the other.
What is the legal definition of domestic violence or dating violence?
• Physical harm, bodily injury or assault, infliction of fear of imminent physical harm or sexual assault.
How often does it happen?
• 89% of teens between ages 13 and 18 say they have been in dating relationships.
• 70% of high school girls and 52% of high school boys who are abused report an injury from an abusive relationship
• 1 in 3 female teens in a dating relationship fear for their safety.
• Teens who are victims of dating violence are not only at risk for injury, but are also more likely to report binge drinking, suicide attempts, physical fighting, and current sexual activity.
• 40% of teenagers age 14 to 17 reported knowing someone their age that has been hit or beaten by their boyfriend.
Nearly 80% of girls who have been physically abused in their intimate relationships continue to date their abuser.
Who is involved?
• Dating violence occurs between two people who are currently or formerly involved in a dating relationship.
• The abuse can begin at a very young age, as young as 11 or 12 years old.
• Friends of the couple are usually aware of the abuse and may be drawn into the situation.
Where can it happen?
• Dating violence can occur at school – in the hall, in the
classroom, in the parking lot, on the bus, at after-school
activities, at a student’s workplace, at a school dance, or at a
student’s home.
• In teenage dating relationships, the abuse is often public with
peers witnessing the abuse; however, the abuse can also be
done in private, by cell phone or private setting.
What does it look like?
• Jealousy and possessiveness.
• Name-calling, put downs, humiliation, threats, stalking, rumors,
or intimidation.
• Pushing, shoving, slapping, hitting, throwing objects, or using
weapons.
• Unwanted sexual touch, forced sex, refusal to use birth
control.
DID YOU KNOW?
• 1 in 3 teens in a dating relationship report
being abused. 1-2 teens report compromising their
beliefs to please their partners.(Surveyconducted for
Liz Claiborne)
• Girls stay in abusive relationships for many reasons.
For adolescent girls there is a rigidity in conforming to
female gender role expectations, specifically the
expectation that her status depends on her
attatchment to a male.
• Abusive relationships occur
among all classes, races, and cultural groups. An
abusive relationship can happen to anyone.
10 Facts You Should Know
1. Since much of violence is learned, it can
be unlearned.
2. Violence is preventable; it is not
inevitable.
3. The seeds for adult interpersonal violence
are planted while young.
4. Sexism, racism and other socially
sanctioned forms of violence affect
interpersonal relationships.
5. Teenage relationships must be taken
seriously.
6. Male teenagers must be educated about
their aggressive impulses, but not by
being seen as the “enemy”.
7. Empowerment lies in moving through
victimization, not being stuck in it.
8. Young people are capable of taking
responsibility for creating violence-free
relationships and environments.
9. Media influences attitudes and behavior
and contributes to the desensitization to
violence.
10. A violence-prevention training program/
curriculum cannot end violence on its
own. Communities and families have to
work together, with support from other
Institutions, to provide a positive future
for our young people.
Safety Planning for Teens in Abusive Dating Relationships
The following are tips you might think about to increase your safety if you are in an abusive relationship.
General Safety
• Stay in touch with your friends; and, make it a point to spend time with people other than your partner.
• Stay involved in activities that you enjoy. Don’t stop doing things that you enjoy or that make you feel good about yourself.
• Make new friends. Increase your support network.
• Take self-defense class.
• Consider looking into resources at your school or in the community. Think about joining a support group or calling a crisis line.
Being a Friend
to a Victim of Abuse
• If you notice a friend is in an abusive
relationship, don’t ignore signs of abuse.
Talk to your friend.
• Express your concerns. Tell your friend
You’reworried. Support, don’t judge.
• Point out your friend’s strengths– many
people in abusive relationships are no
longer capable of seeing their own abilities
and gifts.
• Encourage them to confide in a trusted
adult. Talk to a trusted adult if you believe
the situation is getting worse. Offer to go
with them for help.
• Never put yourself in a dangerous
situation with the victim’s partner. Don’t
be a mediator.
• Call the police if you witness an assault.
Tell an adult - a school principal, parent,
guidance counselor.
What You Can Do
• Start a peer education program on teen
dating violence.
• Create bulletin boards in the school
cafeteria or classroom to raise awareness.
• Perform a play about teen dating violence.